A Lost Treasure

Oh God!A little bad time .Life's is really unpreditable.I shouldnot say this again after having a good experience of it two years back but still.............What I feel that friends are the great treasure that you have in your life and I always take care of my friendships delicately.But in last few days two of my very good friends shifted to some other parts of India and my childhood friend expired on 3 june.This blow was quiet a big for me ,once again.We were friends since 1984,we had played together ,stayed together and even now we were very close to each other.One fine morning she got burnt and few days later she died.Once again I was in deep thoughts ,thinking so many things ,not able to concentrate during meditation ,feeling so low .So finally got up yesterday ,went out for shopping ,a good workout in the morning today and back to my yoga classes.Really you have to pull out yourself from all these blackholes.Best way is to pamper yourself a lot and thanks to my parents who take care of all these things .Apart from that God has given me an ANGEL to take care of and love her.Some person(I wouldnot like to name that person here) had once told me to leave that beautiful ANGEL ,who is nobody else but my daughter, in an orphange or any railway station so that whosoever needs her can take her from there, had actually given me so much strength that I stood up with this spirit that I cant throw my daughter anywhere and nobody should dare think about it even.Rather I would whole heartedly thank that person now for helping me becoming a very good mother to my child.May God bless that person.The mother daughter bond we share is wonderful.We understand each other so well that we really neednot to speak at times to express our emotions.But here I would like to thank all my friends apart from God and parents for helping me in those troubled times .They all were standing like pillars around me at that time and they actually protected me from everything that was coming on my way.My sincere thanks to all those phone calls,personal visits ,orkut scraps and mails that have helped me from breaking down.

My Little Mermaid

Its been more than two weeks that me and vanu get up at 5.00 am and leave home by 6o'clock for an adventure everyday and that's swimming.My daughter's everyday's breakfast is boiled egg for last five years and I prefer taking cornflakes and egg white . I find swimming as a very good exercise and my little one is very comfortable with the water right from the first day of joining .There is no water fear and she swims like a mermaid.Its just really beyond description .So coolly and comfortably she swims and enjoys water,though she cant swim for long stretches but no doubt she tries hard.I can very well understand this because she is just six years old ,obviously not that big to go from one end of the pool to another end in one go.

In the pool I have met a person who brings his daughter everyday for swimming classes .His daughter is almost Vanya's age and they are South Indians.We stared talking to each other slowly and found that life is not that easy for everyone.He told me that his wife was a serious case of depression and one day when he was away to his office this lady commited suicide and at that time this little girl was few months old.Neighbours informed him in his office about her death when they heard child screaming .I could see tears in his eyes while talking to me and repeadly telling me that she was taking treatment from a very good doctor but nothing worked.After that his life changed .......people or should I say so called relatives moved away from him as nobody wanted to take responsibility of the child and they were left alone .But sometimes such situations make you real tough and he decided to manage his job and child simultaneously and look that child is almost six ,healthy ,active and really sweet.He prepares her breakfast and lunch sends her to school and then she goes to day care and in the evening he picks her up .Both of them take dinner together and sleep to start a new day .I must say that girl is always beautifully dressed up with her long hair properly tied up by her father.
But I feel single parenthood is a very common concept in Delhi these days and no doubt when people find you working hard with your child ,they respect you.One of my very good friends used to tell me in my troubled times that once you get out of this tougher period you'll become a 24 carat gold.She was really right because when I look back I really find I have actually become a better human being and even a better mother .Everything in my life has a proper direction and I hardly bother about anything else.If something tries to trouble me and my family ,I simply cut that thing out of our lives.No U -turns now.Whatever I deicide I go for it ,that strong I'm now.I really don't need anyone's permission now but yes ,I always discuss everything with my parents and take their guidance at every point.Life is like that.You must not plan for long times.Its just one day that you have to live and never look back .Be strong to face anything that comes up.That's the strategy of a comfortable life.And must stay away from sick people who instead of giving you a push ,try to pull you down.That's the Mantra of my life now ,therefore I'm enjoying it at the fullest.

Vanya's first tooth about to break

What a day today,I was cleaning up the house and heard Vanya crying.I ran towards her .She was standing in front of mirror crying loudly.I asked her what happened,sobbing she showed me her lower jaw and that tinny -minny tooth moving and bleeding.She was loud that's why whatever I was trying to explain her wasn't going into her head.Finally after efforts of 10-15 minutes by everybody she started listening to us .So with this the process of explaination started .We all stared her giving some tips like now she should stop thumb sucking,should not move it too much,should not put he tongue on it ,,,this and that and like a good listener she was taking all those tips ,seriously.That was something really surprising for me because she is really ,really really very naughty ,cant sit at one place for more that a minute and the seriousness that she was showing was beyond my imagination.Now lets see what changes does this new tooth ,when it comes brings in her.But to be very frank,I really dont want her to grow up so fast.We both are enjoying life like anything these days and thats because she is so naughty and innocent.

Superman and Mougli

Wow ,these days its summer vacations in Delhi schools , my daughter is at home and we both are enjoying life at the fullest .So,we both sit and watch cartoons together these days.Earlier it was my husband who used to get this pleasure.Sometimes I used to be busy with cooking or some other household work and my husband used to watch Tom and Jerry with my daughter in his lap and I could hear both of them laughing loudly and clapping.Even those days ,I wont say I missed something ,I used to like their giggles and claps while working in kitchen but now even I get chance to watch cartoons with my little one..........................
So it was superman that had impressed Vanya few days back.She used to tie her towel around her neck and jump here and there in the house and now its Mougli. We put up an alarm for 5.30pm everyday to watch Mougli on Pogo channel.We both sit together for tea/mik and watch it seriously that how mougli is trying to be a good wolf,inspite of being a human child.And its not only me and vanya who watch this cartoon,its everybody in the family Papa,mummy and Bobbyas well.We all sit together,eat together,enjoy together.I really find intresting to see my mummy watching cartoons ,she had never done this earlier.But this is what a grandparenthood is........................But this cartoon has created another problem for me and that is my daughter has started copying Mougli in everything .She jumps on the top of the curtain and then slips down like an animal,i cant help .I see her enjoying but Im always there to check her actions .What I feel this is the best time in life to enjoy everything and girls grow up faster and get quieter quickly,so I dont mind her doing all this stuff provided things are in safer range.Really relations are very difficult to maintain and its individuals duty to take care of what role is to be played at what time carefully.When I have to be a daughter I'm a good daughter ,when I have to be mother I'm a good mother and when its friend I'm a good friend.

Cursive handwriting

My daughter has recently won English cursive handwritng competetion .As expected,any mother would be happy and so am I .I remember last year when she had started learning cursive handwriting,I got the book for myself and learnt it properly so that I could teach her and finally SHE did it and Im also perfect in that now.Now Im learning hindi language for her so that I can teach her that properly as she is not very interested in studying that subject.But motherhood is a wonderful experience.To my surprise I have learnt so many things just to make her perfect in that.I still remember I used to tell my husband that he would have to teach her how to draw straight line because I couldnot make a straight line even with scale and my husband is perfect with paintings .But look today I can draw a straight line very well and can make very good pictures in her copies.Its just the determination that can take you to the top of the mountain and you would not need any help fot that....................
Really Its Enoyable........................
At the bottom of my heart I feel bad for the person who's missing all that

Crayons....................................

Really wanted to write this for my future memories.....................
Today when my daughter came back from her school ,I checked her bag as usual and I was surprised to see that the crayons that I had got for her yesterday were all broken.Behaving normally ,I simply asked her that who broke her crayons and to my surprise her answer was "Vanya"and she looked so happy telling me her name.I was like what to say,what to ask,yesterday only I had bought them,but its all gone................Then slowly I asked her ,"Why did you break them?"She replied sweetly"Mummy,my friend's crayons box had 20 colors and my box had 15 ,so I broke all the colors in two pieces,so now the number is 30.The stress that she had put on word "thirty" made it very clear to me that how concerned she was for numbers.But Im happy that she is learning simple maths with these tricks.And that gives me the great feeling.She is the same girl who had become extremely silent and dumb one and half years back and I used to cry to see her ,but now she is a typical "Girl" who can speak for hours at strech.Thanks to God and everyone around me for giving me all that support at the time of need.

Wonderful life................

I had never thought that life could be so beautiful.Looking back,terrible time,nothing but a big black hole and finally I am able to pull out myself and everybody in my family out of it and Im really happy about it.Thanks to God for giving me that strength and thankfully things are very well in track.I enjoy life at the fullest now and I make sure everyone in family whether its my daughter ,my parents or my brother everyone should be able to live happily.A perfect balance is needed in life and I am able to achieve that now.I pay all the required attention to my little one ,drop her to school ,pick her up,help her with her homework and play with her her park everydayand for sure weekends ,we all go out ,to have fun.Very well planned,two movies in a month ,generally going to fun rebublic,having food at haldiram's or mac donald's.My gym regularly,then my yoga classes,40 min brisk walk.I make it sure to give full time to myself along with being commited towards family.
I have started reading novels also these days.I was a short stories person and used to watch my papa in law reading big,thick novels and used to ask him often that how did he maintain patience till the end of novel but now I understand that very well.......I have read so many novels now that almost addicted to them and really time flies once you start.Apart from that I do read very short stories to be told to my little one everyday.Thats also fun.She relates every story with her daily life experiences.
Sometimes I feel these days that the time just flies off.and I must say yoga and meditation has helped me achieving full control over my mind and I know my aim clearly and am heading towards it.................
Thanks God for all your great givings to me.
In all this,when I sit and think "Do I really want to go in past?"Does my daughter wants to see all that again?
Oops ,the problem is ,I should have time to think about all this ...........but really,I swear these things hardly come to my mind now because of being soooooooooo occupied.To some extent my daughter and brother have made my life so wonderful because when they talk you can actually feel that their world is so beautiful and colorful and so is mine now

School...........

My daughter has come to class one and two days back it was her first day to the new class,but same old school.We all were really exicted after her outstanding result in kindergarden.Getting up early,getting ready for school all those things have started again after the gap of 15 days.I got her books right on the first day,covered them and writing her name on each book and copy was really exiting for me too.To my surprise,she finished her first term maths book on the same day ,working on it till midnight.Sometimes I feel she is very good at maths like me and very good at drawing like her Dad.I love her.
Everyday I go to her school.I really enjoy dropping and picking her up.The shine that comes in her eyes when I go to pick her up is beyond description.

My daughter's first tooth

Oh God !sitting in front of comp. right in the morning as wanted to write something that's there in my mind since I have brushed my daughter's teeth.This was when my daughter was 9 months old,one fine morning I saw a small pointed thing in her lower jaw ,I could make out that's her first tooth.I was so exicted,shared that exictement with my husband and parents.Then,started thinking about that great TOOTH seriously.Finally,I called up my cousin ,who is a dentist ,to know how to take care of the tooth ,that had just started to come out.You know,first he laughed and then understanding the gravity of seriousness that I was showing towards it,he told me to brush it morning and night .I swear,i did that properly.I used to forget brushing my teeth at night but her brushing .........perfect.Today my daughter is almost six and ,about to loose those milk teeth that I have taken care of till this date.And,of course ,whenever I visit my cousin ,he laughes at me even today ,remebering my call and seriousness I had shown that day.
Life is fun and when I look back I really think "Was I that stupid" or is it that every mother behaves like this?

MULBERRY

Today my day started with my daughter's demand to eat mulberries.Wow ,I was ready to do the job I had never tried in my thirty two years of life---climbing up a big tree.Actually we have three mulberry trees in front of our home,all loaded up with fruit these days and my great daughter likes mulberries ,so we both were ready for excursion.To my surprise ,she suggested me to wear tight pants as would be easier for me to climb up and after changing when I came out ,i saw her holding a big bowl in her hands .I could very well makeout her intentions,that bowl had to be filled up...........Taking god's name I started and slowly climbing up one of the trees,throwing mulberries down and she was collecting all of them and the same time giving me instuctions which mulberry should i pick and throw .A difficult task ,it was ,listening to her ,climbing up, balancing myself and taking her instruction.But she was happy and that was my target.While getting dowm,I got hurt also but the twinkle that was there in her eyes was so pacifying and beyond description.
Now ,I was just thinking,is that parenthood?You are ready to do anything for your child.When i was on the tree ,everybody was looking at me but I had just one thing in my mind and that was my daughter's wish.Mother's give 50% contribution in bringing up their child but I try to give more than that though I know this truth very well that I could never be able to make 100%.......we both miss something

Slumdog milloniare

Heard,read and watched this movie finally,liked it .But a big question that has come to my is "Is that the real India that's shown there?"Of course ,not .I live in Delhi and I swear you can see drastic change here in the last 2-3 years.I mean ,you just go out and see,low floor buses with LED displays,A/C public transport,Metro the lifeline fo Delhi which is spread all over and has made your ride so easy and quick,multistorey parkings,Malls--which brand do you want,just ask, fly overs all over-- 31 new added in last two years.What else do you want.Even I have stayed in US for nearly 2 years.I dont find Delhi lacking anywhere .Rather Im happy that my daughter is growing up here ,eating fresh fruits,veggis and milk with no preservatives and harmones added on and her big problem of constipation has totally disappeared .As far as cleaniness is concerned,the area in which I live is very clean.Then is that the true India thats shown there .But what I find that Indians themselves are responsible for this kind of stuff.For instance,my brother in law is in US for last 6-7 years now and I had observed him criticising our country whenever there was a get together of his friends,making fun of system,society and culture.I never approve this kind of approach.
I think we Indians need to change our thinking drastically and if you doubt,come and see Delhi.

A Visit To Mughal Gardens(President's House Garden)

So ,this weekend was great.Saturday after coming from my yoga class I started turning pages of the newspaper and found that mughal gardens are opened up for public for 15 days.These gardens are very well maintained gardens having more than100 varities of roses and various herbs and bonsai.Immediately made up my mind to take vanya there .My ultimate aim is always her enjoyment.So started preparing for it ,thought about next day's menu to be taken for lunch and prepared rest ofthe things ...mats,bedsheet ,plates,glasses etc.Asked my dear friend also,she also agreed to go with us with her husband and son who is vanya's very good friend.So ,sunday morning was very hectic ,preparing poori,chana ,subji and rice as my friend was getting chicken and noodles.I had thought of preparing halwa also after a long time as vanya and bobby like it but couldnot because someone else also likes it very much due to which I have completely stopped preparing those things.Mummy prepares sll those things .........getting back to trip again,we started around 11 am and in half an hour we were there ,stayed there for 2 hours and then went to India gate ,played cricket there and then had food.Good long full day trip of nine people.I have made it a point that the vacuum that I feel in my life should not come in my daughter's life .I also try my level best to fill up that gap carefully that's why I called my friends family also to go with us.Managing life at times is difficult than solving a sudoko.................u really have to do so many calculations but what I know is that at the end of day we all came happy and tired.

Daughter's dance

What a day today?My little one has participated in her school's annual function (oops!but she calls it animal function) but its a new experience for all of us .She has participated in a dance and she has to dance with her partner there but experiments go at home also.She randomly tells any of us to be her partner ,explaining all steps that you have to do with her .But the problem is height difference ,so we have to bend down and come to her level and dance .My God ,today even I had to dance with her for more than an hour and now my knees are paining like anything.Is it that Im getting old?A big NO to that please.I am very particular about diet,exercise and yoga.Then whats this?Whatever ,whether I'm able to fold my legs or not,whether I'm able to walk or not but Im really exicted.My daughter has once again told me to dance at my fullest as I used to do in my school or college days.
Is that a mother - daughter relationship?There are many things that I understand and many things that she understands,we really dontneed any words to understand each other.Thanks to a person in my life who has inspired me to be very good mother.................God Bless him.

Grandparents................

Thought of writing about my parents,who are garndparents now of my almost 6 years old daughter.Oh my God,I really can't believe........ can such transition comes in you when you become a GRAND PARENT..........I mean a complete phase transition.My dad was very strict with me when I was young.I still remember a proper timetable to be followed for school,studies and food along with playtime.A big NO to chocalates,chewing gums etc. ,I think because of that my teeth are in good shape even today but I really find him very different with my daughter.Extra love and care she is getting from my mom and dad ,they love her like anything .I was surprised when I saw her eating chewing gum one day and who got that for her ,her dear grandpa,as promised.They simply try to fulfill all her wishes and i feel as if now I stand nowhere in this house.But I enjoy that.My daughter is getting ampleof love,May God bless her.We really dont need anything now........................Shall I be the same when I will become Grandparent?

life......is that so easy

Back again ,couldnot write for long time as my daughter had been very sick.I had thought to live life at fullest right on 1 jan but again things never go the way you want but this is life ,i have learnt this very well.On 11 jan,when doc's had told me that vanya might not be saved ,i was in the state of shock but now i never surrender without giving a tough fight and this time it was my daughter,how could i take it...................Standing day and night with her for six days ,running to every possible doctor and by the grace of god and with love of my parents who are no less that god to me ,my daughter is fine now ,smiling,jumping once again.Again life seems easy ,wow....
I have forgotten all my sleepless night but One thing i would like to mention here is that the word FEAR has almost gone out of my mind may be because i have been through a very crux situation earlier and i have now started believing that things that r bound to happen ,do happen
Today got a supportive mail from an old friend also,liked it .His saying about a ray of hope was wonderful....................well wishes of such friends have really helped me and made me very strong .
Oh,ya!forgot to mention,started reading Ruskin Bond stories ,wonderful.
Just now finished with chetan bhagat's novel also,liked his way of writing things casually though i find Ruskin more deep in expression of emotions.

Is the Life.................

Sometimes I really sit and start thinking about my past,though now I have learnt to live in present but happens at times.................I go back to my past .Last year ,when New Year had started ,(2008),things were so unclear to me,everything looked so hazzy and I was almost shattered ,didnot know what to do ,so confused but this New year has come with a great beginning I have put myself into helping people around,taking care of my daughter and thinking to adopt one more child in future,learnt yoga and meditation ,that has given me full control over my feelings ,so things disturb me ,but affect is not much.One good resolution I have made this year to keep myself happy in all situations but thats true that love for that person is not yet gone.I still love him,a very honest confession .